Review of Surviving Suicide: a mothers story

Surviving Suicide: a mother's story 
by 

Heather Hapeta (Goodreads Author)

Pip Adam's review 

Oct 07, 2012

really liked it

Like many people, suicide has been a part of my life from an early age. I found Surviving Suicide: A Mother's Story a very helpful book. Although, thankfully, it has been almost a year since the last suicide in our family I still gained a lot of information and hope from this book.

The book begins with a detailed retelling of the author's experience of her son's suicide. Hapeta recounts this time in an intimate way, explaining exactly how she felt and what she did, in the time leading up to the suicide as she tried to help her son recover from the debilitating affects of a serious accident, when she found her son's body after his suicide and in the time following. I found this account very affecting and the detail was extremely helpful. I have found that we often talk in abstracts about suicide, with our relatives and friends, but to read a detailed account of one person's experience was very useful. I could relate to many of the experiences Hapeta recounts and I found it quite helpful to compare my own experience with hers, both the similarities and the differences. In this section Hapeta also talks about what worked and what didn't during this time in her son's life and death. I'm not sure what it would be like reading this account closer to a suicide but I found it very helpful.

The second section of the book (I am not sure the book is as clearly delineated as I am presented it as, Hapeta's voice continues into the second section which is great because its easy tone and direct language is part of what makes this book so helpful) offers some invaluable advice concerning a large range of things. This makes the book an extremely useful handbook to have in the time of a suicide. This section begins with some lists about how to deal with the time directly after the suicide and comes from both Hapeta's personal experience and her word as a grief cousellor. There is one particular list which helps friends of people surviving suicide might help them. I remember Hapeta giving me this list a long time ago after a friend died and I found it useful then and I think it is still useful now. As well as guidance on how to navigate the emotional landscape of suicide, Hapeta offers pragmatic advice about the law and the media. I think this is an extemely important part of what makes this book so successful. I remember directly after the suicide of a close friend, whose will I was the executor of, being inundated with legal requirements which I didn't understand. I'm not sure I would have been robust enough to read these sections of this book but if I had a copy I am sure someone close to me could have read these and clarified what needed to be done. This legal information deals mainly with New Zealand law, but I feel that if you are an overseas reader it would act as a checklist of things to ask legal experts about. I also found Hapeta's sections about the media very helpful. There is a lot of publicity about whether the media should report suicide and Hapeta offers really intelligent and caring recommendations about how to deal with this that again come from her unique experience as suicide survivor and professional.

This book is unique, I believe. I have never read anything quite like it. The blend of personal and professional experience is invaluable. My hope is that no one will every need a book about suicide again, but I suspect they will and if they do, I think this is a very good option.

this book is avaibake on Amazon

New suicide grief book

My long-awaited, long promised book on sucicide bereavement is now available for e-readers - hard copies are available directly from the author - Heather Hapeta

Have just been sent this " Heather, you were born to write this book. Tears have been rolling down my face for the last hour, but I've also been cheering. For you, for your courage, your persistence, your bossiness, your in-your-face-ness. I'm so glad you wrote the book, and I hope that others will be comforted and strengthened by reading it."

Buy this book from Smashwords (all formats) here.  It is also for sale here from  Amazon.

Naked In Budpapest - e-version on sale - a great round the world vacation story

 Get a couple of copies - one for you and one for a friend a great armchair travel read .. or holiday read!

Naked in Budapest: travels with a passionate nomad

10% off the price of my e-book version ... for 2 weeks

A celebrating 10% off the price of this book, now in e-book format

 .. use code PV56D http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/128126

Australian bird guide updated

I've just received this information from Alan McBride about this updated guide, of which he is one of the authors.

First published in 1994, The Complete Guide to Finding the Birds of Australia was the first ever book of its type in Australia – a complete guide to locating every resident bird species in Australia, plus supplementary information on where to find rarities, migratory species and logistical information.
This fully revised second edition expands on the best-selling appeal of the first, describing the best-known sites for all of Australia’s endemic birds, plus vagrants and regular migrants such as seabirds and shorebirds. It covers all states and territories, and is the first guide to include all of Australia’s island and external territories. A comprehensive Bird Finder Guide details site information on all Australian bird species, and the authors provide valuable travel advice, including transport, climate and accommodation.

Profusely illustrated with colour photographs of interesting, unique or unusual Australian birds, this book is a must-have for all birdwatchers living in Australia or visiting from overseas.

see more here